Work, Family and Personal
Life Integration and Coping Quiz
This quiz aims to provide some insight into your personal approach to reconciling your work,
family and personal life. Assign a score from 1 to 5 for each statement (in the empty column), indicating the
extent to which you agree that the statement corresponds with your way of doing things.
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Do the following phrases reflect the way
you see the world?
1 = Not at all / never
2 = Not entirely / seldom
3 = More or less / sometimes
4 = Yes, pretty well / often
5 = Absolutely / always
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| 1 |
I try to be available for the demands of my work. If my work requires working in the
evening or during weekends, I will take work home. |
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O |
N |
| 2 |
In principle, I try to keep my work and personal life strictly separate. I don’t
like to mix my work and personal life.
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S |
N |
| 3 |
I often shift my mind from work to my private life and vice versa. |
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LL |
P |
| 4 |
One of the ways I deal with multiple responsibilities is to mentally juggle several
things at the same time.
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LL |
P |
| 5 |
I like to get completely absorbed in a work-related problem - to the point where I
completely lose track of time.
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Q |
N |
| 6 |
During a meeting with a colleague or client, I often “zone out” to mentally prepare
for the next meeting. |
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LL |
N
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| 7 |
I get my best ideas when relaxing at home over the weekend or during holidays. |
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O |
P |
| 8 |
When I’m at work, I’m so concentrated that my family and friends might as well not
exist. |
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Q |
N |
| 9 |
When I’m troubled over a work-related problem while I’m at home, I try to figure
things out but try not to show it to my spouse / children / friends. |
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S |
N |
| 10 |
When I come home I try to “switch off” my computer and be there 100%. |
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Q |
P |
| 11 |
When I have a work-related idea during the weekend, I take out a notebook or my laptop
for a moment to capture the idea. |
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O |
P |
| 12 |
I like to talk about work at home. Sharing work experiences and exchanging ideas is
very useful to me. |
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O |
P |
| 13 |
At this point in my life / career, it is essential I give priority to my work. It is
now or never. Later on there will be time for my personal life. |
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O |
N |
| 14 |
If I get a work-related call at home during the weekend I make it clear by the tone of
my voice that I’d rather not be disturbed at home. |
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S |
P |
| 15 |
The most efficient way to get things done is to switch mentally between tasks. |
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LL |
P |
| 16 |
While listening to a colleague I often think of a completely different issue that
preoccupies me. |
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LL |
N |
| 17 |
When I’m at work I throw myself into it. When I’m at home, I make sure I’m there 100%
for my family or friends. |
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Q |
P |
| 18 |
I don’t believe I should mix work and private responsibilities. For instance, my
partner should not get involved with my work and vice versa. |
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S |
N |
| 19 |
I hate checking my mobile phone or email at night or during weekends in case some
colleague or client has left me an important message. |
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LL |
N |
| 20 |
I’m proud of the way I keep my work and private life separated. |
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S |
P |
| 21 |
I work very hard at my job now because later on my family or personal life will profit
from my dedication to it. |
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O |
N |
| 22 |
I have managed to get my colleagues / supervisor / clients to respect the fact that I
cannot be disturbed during my personal time.
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S |
P |
| 23 |
It can happen that I’m so focused on a work-related report or meeting that I
completely forget about a private / family engagement. |
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Q |
N |
| 24 |
In principle I avoid taking work home. If necessary, I’ll stay an hour longer at the
office to make sure my spouse / friend(s) / children get all my available time. |
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Q |
P |
Calculating and Interpreting
Your Scores
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Calculate your scores by totaling the amounts you assigned to three questions. The symbol Σ
stands for ‘totaling’. For instance:
Σ(ON) = Means total the scores for all the questions that combine the symbols O and N
e.g. Σ(ON) = 5 + 3 + 1 = 9
Now calculate all your scores:
Σ(ON) =
Σ(SN) =
Σ(QN) =
Σ(LLN) =
Σ(OP) =
Σ(SP) =
Σ(QP) =
Σ(LLP) =
Once you have calculated all your scores, read the results below.
Through research, it has been discovered that not all approaches to life are equally effective
and that each approach has its positive and negative sides. As a general rule, you want to achieve
high scores on the ‘P’s (positive) and low scores on the ‘N’s (negative).
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(O) Overlap
If you recognize yourself in the description: “I believe in being flexible in combining work and private
responsibilities. When I am working on an important project, my private life / family must temporarily wait” or,
more specifically, if you have high scores on the O / Overlap dimension, this means you allow your work and
personal life to overlap, as in you make yourself available for both.
There is a positive and negative side to the O-dimension. The positive side—or OP—means that you are a flexible
person, capable of rapidly reshuffling your attention and resources according to the demands placed on you.
If you score high (>12) on the negative side (ON), however, this means that you are too flexible, or always
available for whatever urgent matter may arise. This can lead to you allowing other people and circumstances to
direct your life.
Research shows that for a majority of men (and, increasingly, career women) who follow this strategy,
‘availability’ has become the dominant style. We call this type ‘availability’ because the persons in this category
allow spill-over from the area that—at that moment—requires the most attention. They are ‘available’ for the most
demanding sphere, be it work or family. A good example of availability would be a top manager of a multinational
fast-moving consumer goods company who is always prepared to spend time with his family:
“My wife can always contact my secretary to block out a few hours in my agenda so I can pick up the kids from
school.”
Available types can often be recognized by the communication and electronic devices they carry around that allow
them to work and be connected anytime, anywhere: beeper, car-phone, and / or mobile phone, palmtop or laptop. Often
they are set up at home, as well as in the office, with phone, fax and internet. Whether it is a weekday or weekend
(or even during holidays), they can be reached.
As always, the very strength of this type is its weakness: their flexibility. This flexibility allows these
individuals to seize opportunities when they arise, meet fluctuating work and personal demands as they ebb and
flow, and have a strong feeling of control—which is empowering.
This same flexibility, though, means that they never have peace, and research shows that this type suffers the
most stress problems. Very often, and with a few exceptions, this flexibility is uni-directional i.e. it is work
that profits most from it, not their personal life. Work simply invades their personal life and, as an excuse to
their friends and family and to comfort themselves, they may show off with the fact they can take long lunch
breaks, leave early in the afternoon or sleep late.
Work has some very strong incentive systems and boundaries; unfortunately, much more than in the private sphere.
As a consequence, this type’s personal and family life almost always lose out.
(S) Segmentation
If you clearly recognize yourself in the description: “I keep my work and personal life strictly separate” and,
more specifically, if you have a high score (>12) on the ‘S’-dimension, this means that you have a preference
for what is described as Separation or Segmentation.
We found that around 10% of the population belongs to this group, and that most ‘separators’ or ‘segmentators’
are men. This type has also been called ‘independence—separation’. If you belong to this type, you strive for
minimal spill-over between the main areas of your life.
Segmentation results in the fact that the individual does not bring home the negative aspects of their work.
This, as such, is admirable. If you score high (>12) on the OP dimension, this means you are capable of
protecting your personal life from being invaded by work, and this is a skill that is important in order to keep a
balance.
Once again, however, in its very strength lies its weakness. If you score high (>12) on the ON dimension,
this means you are so determined to separate your work and personal life that you have become rigid.
Life is not black and white. There are a lot of grey areas. Sometimes by being a little more flexible, conflicts
and resentment can be avoided. We found that this type, by trying to keep work and family separate, is often
mentally absent. A second point is that by consciously separating work and family, a positive spill-over is made
impossible. For instance, segmenting implies that a person cuts him or herself off from valuable social support and
help from colleagues, family and friends with problems they experience in other areas of their life. As a
consequence, segmentators often find themselves alone with their problems.
ParaLLel
If you scored a high LL (>12)
on the questionnaire, this means that you do a lot of parallel activities, or what is called ‘polyphasing’. This
means that you do a lot of things at the same time e.g. read the newspaper while having breakfast, work on your
laptop while taking a cab, mentally prepare a client presentation while you are attending a department meeting,
focus on what comes next while you are with a person.
It is clear that being capable
of doing several tasks simultaneously is a great asset in today’s fast-paced environment, as it allows you to gain
time. If you score high on the LLP-dimension, that indicates you are strong at this.
You may consider this type of
behavior to be very functional and time-saving, but when it translates into being absent-minded in one-to-one
meetings as well, the other person will sooner or later see you are not really there. This in fact, is almost the
opposite of quality time. There is no connection, no focus and, most probably, your ‘polyphasing’ is anything but
productive; it can actually be counterproductive. If you score high on the LLN-dimension, this indicates that you
exaggerate performing parallel activities.
As you can imagine, it is very
disagreeable to be with someone if they fade out while you are talking to them. The person you are having a
conversation with will soon catch the non-verbal signals that show you are not paying attention to them, and this
can be vexing and disappointing for them. If this happens with a work colleague or your spouse, it can really turn
against you, as they will eventually start avoiding you altogether. After all, you are not listening anyway! If
this is the case, and you want to do something about it, you can learn a lot from the ‘hic et nunc’ type. The
answer to your problem lies in focusing.
SeQuential
If you recognize yourself in the phrase: “When I’m at work I
throw myself into it. When I’m at home, I make sure I’m there 100% for my family or friends” or, more specifically,
if you have a high score on the Q-dimension, you have a preference for seQuential behavior and thinking, which
means doing one thing at a time.
We named this type ‘hic et nunc’. Hic et nunc comes from
Latin, and means ‘here and now’. It refers to the capacity to be 100% present in ‘the moment’. While studying the
different profiles we found that ‘hic et nunc’ is the only approach that is associated with less conflict between
work and family and has more favorable outcomes in terms of general wellbeing. That is on one condition: if you
experience the positive side of Q only.
It is quite clear what the strength of this type is. People
who score high on the QP-dimension are quality time champions. We can all learn from their capacity to focus on the
moment, to live in the ‘here and now’ and, in the process, live our lives to the fullest. This is not just a
privilege of some happy few. It is possible for all of us to learn this skill.
Still, even this type does not escape the rule that each
strength is associated with a weakness, just like a Siamese twin. The capacity to focus can go too far, if you lose
yourself too completely in one activity and forget about the other areas of your life. People who are extremely
good at focusing and living in the moment can get ‘sucked in’ and become absorbed in the activity at hand. If you
scored high (>12) on the QN items of the questionnaire, this may be the case for you. Those who are not
conscious of the talent they have for living in the moment are especially prone to running this
risk.
Conclusion
We all
have our strengths and weaknesses. The challenge lies in our capacity to learn from each type’s strength. A
well-balanced person is one capable of adapting (being flexible), segmenting, focusing, or polyphazing as a
consequence of the demands placed on them.
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This
questionnaire is based on research produced by the University of Navarre, Spain.
© Steven Poelmans
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