Marriage Issues
 “He no longer treats me the way he used to before we got married.”
This is a common complaint when details of affection are neglected. Small tokens of affection matter a lot and
a lack of them creates significant marriage issues. Little things done for love create peace and harmony in
the home and the human heart needs these expressions of love.
Often, marriage issues arise because couples do no treat each other with courtesy and refinement – many couples
affirm that these behaviours are the key to a happy marriage. To be refined is to foster a deep respect for your
spouse. This moves you to be considerate, kind, and in tune with each other’s needs. Refinement means respect and
consideration in word and deed.
Tips to Resolve Marriage Issues
- Don’t command – suggest
- Don’t demand – request
- Don’t assume or take things for granted (this confuses people)
- Listen with attention and interest
- Smile even when things hurt
- Know when to keep quiet and when to speak up
- Respect each other’s private moments
- Never criticise your spouse to their face
- Don’t be sarcastic
- Don’t shout to make a point
- Don’t use coarse language
- Don’t omit details that you know would please the other
- Don’t demand sex when you can see your spouse is very tired, ill, or otherwise indisposed
- Compliment on a new outfit, a tasty dish or a clever idea
- Respect one another’s opinions
- Offer timely words or gestures of affection
How to Create Union of Mind and Heart
If you want to be happy and make each other happy, then you have to learn to make your spouse’s hopes and
aspirations your own. If this is too difficult, then you can always try to respect what you don’t understand and
understand what you cannot share.
If you dramatize your differences instead of the things that bring you together, and you criticize each other
for your defects and mistakes, then you run the risk of creating serious marriage issues – to the point of killing
love.
You can foster unity in many ways:
- Try to understand each other from ‘within’; don’t stop at judging each other from ‘without’
- Put yourself in your spouse’s shoes – look at a situation from their perspective
- Form the habit of being positive in the way you look at and talk about things
- Be patient
- Be humble – admit your mistakes and look for the first opportunity to make up for it
- Never think you are always right because you seldom are
- Don’t take yourself too seriously. Learn to laugh at yourself
- Don’t argue over trivial matters
- Respect each other’s freedom of opinion
- Don’t compete over your preferences in food, entertainment etc
- Don’t impose your views in a bull-headed way
- Thresh out your problems in an open, friendly dialogue
If you are interested in learning more tips on how to avoid marriage issues, you may be interested in consulting
these recommended marriage guides.
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